In business, bad behaviour towards another person or bullying, is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE however, it still goes on and is commonplace.
Exit surveys consistently state that of those people who leave an organisation, 70% say they do so, “because of a bad relationship with their colleagues or boss.”
A phrase I regularly hear said by people, “If only I had spoken up”. So why don’t we? Here are some of the reasons.
I did it once, never again.
They’re more senior than me.
I’m fearful of what impact it’ll have on my career.
Nobody else does.
I’ve seen what has happened to others.
In one word, we don’t speak up because of FEAR. Fear of what may happen. However, if we don’t speak up, nothing will change. So what can we do to enable us to SPEAK UP.
#1. Specific. State specifically what the issue or problem is and how it has made you feel. Write it down on paper, if you know you might get emotional during a face to face meeting.
#2. Perception. Remember, that what has happened and how it has made you feel, is based on your perception. The other person may have a different perception to you.
#3. Environment. Choose an appropriate place and time to discuss the situation with the other person.
#4. Arbitrator. If it is a contentious issue that needs to be raised, consider the need for someone suitably qualified, to be at the meeting with you.
#5. Keep Calm. Whilst it is difficult, try to keep things factual as opposed to emotional. Focus on the situation and behaviour of the person.
#6. Understand. Listen to what the other person has to say. In some instances, there is no right or wrong, just differences of opinion and behaviour and compromise is required.
#7. Pledge. Once you’ve explained the situation to the other person and listened to what they have to say, pledge to do something different moving forward, that works for each of you. Keep checking in with one another regularly, to ensure that your relationship has begun to move in a positive direction.
Hopefully, the above will help you to SPEAK UP.
If it helps you, I’d really enjoy hearing from you how it did.
Wishing you continued happiness and success in both work and life.
Yours behaviourally, Nick
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