7 Tips To Help You Speak Up About Bad Behaviour (2 minute read)

7 tips to help you speak up Ngagementworks Nick Fewings

In business, bad behaviour towards another person or bullying, is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE however, it still goes on and is commonplace.

Exit surveys consistently state that of those people who leave an organisation, 70% say they do so, “because of a bad relationship with their colleagues or boss.”

A phrase I regularly hear said by people, “If only I had spoken up”. So why don’t we?  Here are some of the reasons.

I did it once, never again.

They’re more senior than me.

I’m fearful of what impact it’ll have on my career.

Nobody else does.

I’m scared.

I’ve seen what has happened to others.

In one word, we don’t speak up because of FEAR.  Fear of what may happen.  However, if we don’t speak up, nothing will change.  So what can we do to enable us to SPEAK UP.

#1. Specific. State specifically what the issue or problem is and how it has made you feel. Write it down on paper, if you know you might get emotional during a face to face meeting.

#2. Perception. Remember, that what has happened and how it has made you feel, is based on your perception. The other person may have a different perception to you.

#3. Environment. Choose an appropriate place and time to discuss the situation with the other person.

#4. Arbitrator. If it is a contentious issue that needs to be raised, consider the need for someone suitably qualified, to be at the meeting with you.

#5. Keep Calm. Whilst it is difficult, try to keep things factual as opposed to emotional. Focus on the situation and behaviour of the person.

#6. Understand. Listen to what the other person has to say. In some instances, there is no right or wrong, just differences of opinion and behaviour and compromise is required.

#7. Pledge. Once you’ve explained the situation to the other person and listened to what they have to say, pledge to do something different moving forward, that works for each of you. Keep checking in with one another regularly, to ensure that your relationship has begun to move in a positive direction.

Hopefully, the above will help you to SPEAK UP.

If it helps you, I’d really enjoy hearing from you how it did.

Wishing you continued happiness and success in both work and life.

Yours behaviourally, Nick

Help Others

If you’ve found this article of interest and value, please use the Follow option in the right side panel to ensure that you are informed of future posts.  In addition, why not help others and Pay It Forward, by sharing it with those who may find it useful.

Would You Like To Feature In Pay It Forward?

If you have some effective learning that would help either individuals or a team and want to be featured in the Pay It Forward Initiative, I’d love to hear from you.  The only criteria are (1) the learning is effective, (2) it takes no longer than an hour to undertake, (3) you don’t need too many resources, (4) you are able to share it freely.

If you do, please email me via  nick@ngagementworks.com or give me a call on 00447966306903 or use the Contact Form

Can I Help You And Your Team Achieve Greater Success or Speak At Your Conference?

If you want to discuss how I may be able to help you and your team my email is  nick@ngagementworks.com, my mobile is 00447966306903 or please use the Contact Form

If you want to find out more about the Team DyNAmics© Model and how it is making a positive difference to team engagement and effectiveness, please use this link.  Team DyNAmics©


2 Comments on “7 Tips To Help You Speak Up About Bad Behaviour (2 minute read)

  1. Brilliant. I cannot believe that some people still think if you ignore a problem, especially one of bullying, it will go away. It will escalate to the point at which you will leave a good job because of a bad manager (either because s/he is the bully you cannot work with, or because your manager will not confront the problem); or because the bully actually is so insecure and sees you as such a threat to their position, that their behaviour is designed to undermine you, to make you doubt your capabilities. Then, when you are vulnerable, fake evidence is gathered by the bully to be used as a basis to have you fired for non-performance of your duties. I’ve unfortunately been on the receiving end of both. Management must have Zero Tolerance of this behaviour. If there is a next time I will be sure to follow Nick’s acvice.

  2. Pingback: A heart-warming story of how “Paying It Forward” helps others | Yours Behaviourally

Please let me know your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s